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“Fragilis” – Simran Kaur

Content Warning: Sexual Assault

The still-life photography project “Fragilis” by Simran Kaur talks about the fear of having sex caused by various factors. Simran interviewed some people who shared their stories and experiences:

Person A: ” I was being intimate with my partner, and as he came the condom did tear apart. At the time was really naive about contraception therefore I panicked. I took the morning pill, but unfortunately, It didn’t work therefore I ended up being pregnant. I didn’t want the baby as me and my partner were not ready for one and also we were not financially stable. When I stated that I wanted to get an abortion he and my family supported me, but his family didn’t at all which did lead me to become depressed. I ended up getting the abortion in the end even if his family didn’t support our decision. They still look at me badly every time we go to visit them and I also developed a fear of having sex. I have a hard time whenever I want to be intimate with my partner as I remember about what I went through just because that condom did tear apart.”

Person B: ” My ex-boyfriend and I used to be really intimate, but only recently I realised he was forcing me to do things with him. At first, we used to use condoms and I used to have the contraceptive pill, but then things started getting strange especially after the condom did break while we were having sex. I did feel that it did break and when I told him to stop he clearly stated that the risk made him feel more excited and therefore he continued even if kept saying to stop as I was scared of getting pregnant. He did cum inside me on purpose while saying that he liked to see me crying. I stayed with him for another 4/5 months as I was scared to leave and every time we had sex he wouldn’t use the condom on purpose no matter how many times I told him to not do it. Luckily I never got pregnant and I broke up with him, but now I’m scared to even talk to a man I don’t imagine how scared I would be to have sex again.”

Person C: ” I’m still processing what happened that day and therefore I don’t have a lot to say. I went on a date with a guy from tinder and at the start, we had a nice lunch together and talked about ourselves. We then went to their house and we were making out until we started getting intimate. They clearly stated they didn’t want to use the condom and they wanted to go raw, and I agreed to that. After that, we didn’t contact each other furthermore. Later on, I started developing random patches of rash on my hands and I was also having a fever. I went to the doctor, but their prescriptions did not work and when I went to another doctor they asked me if I did get intimate with someone. I’m not gonna go further in detail, but I have Syphilis and I did also try to contact the person I did go out with but they blocked me which makes me feel really suspicious.

I’m scared now of going out on dates and I don’t feel like being intimate. Is really hard to process what happened and I’m still trying to contact that person but I fail every time.

About the creator:

Simran Kaur is a surrealist still life and creative portrait photographer and artist currently based in London. She is Punjabi and she was born and raised in Italy

Simran’s main objective is to make the viewer’s dreams come true by creating intriguing setups, but she also creates mental health and environmental awareness with her experimental photography. At the same time, she also creates dreamlike abstract visuals to make the viewer explore another reality.

Simran Kaur gets inspired by people’s dreams and visions, but her childhood memories also inspire her to create various projects. To keep her childhood memories alive she started doodling digital and traditional illustrations which helps her to understand how she feels about those foggy memories of her childhood.

This piece is part of Issue One: Lost & Found! Read more pieces like this here!

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