“I Only Had One Lifetime”
I might be a writer. Or a mother. Or open a store in some small town somewhere and sell bread and fruit to the same people year after year. If I could only do it once I know I’d have to choose, stake a claim in the ground somewhere and stay in that ground somewhere. If my years were numbered I’d like to think I’d be in love. Build a house and write and bake bread in the ground somewhere. Maybe the air would taste different and I’d walk a little slower. Maybe I’d worry a little more if I only had one lifetime. I might try and get it right the first time, settle down in the ground somewhere and watch the dust on the porch shift everytime spring comes. I’d sit on the nice sheets with fruit juice running down my chin, staining everything and leaving my pillow sticky. I’d forgive myself for a broken dish and be buried in the ground somewhere, if I could do it only once.
“Those Heavy Moments Late September”
I never feel more lonely than when summer turns to rain. How the heat burns down to ash and the cold I know so well begins, begins again. I avoid drowning by some small margin. I mourn the dying summer, once so bold and brash. I never feel more lonely than when summer turns to rain and every year I doubt I’ll feel the same. Yet here I am. The warmth departs, I crash, and the cold I know so well begins, begins again. The countryside is painted blue, sorrow plain and shaded. I no longer even try to ask, I always feel this lonely when summer turns to rain. Perhaps the years have made me maudlin but the night is wine, what I am is passed, and the cold I know so well begins, begins again. I close the shades and draw them in, drunken ashes in my mouth, a caress. I never feel more lonely than when summer turns to rain and the cold I know so well begins, begins again.
About the Author:
Emma McCoy is a poet and writer with work in or forthcoming at Seaborne Magazine, Flat Ink, Second Chance Lit, Ice Lolly review, and others. She is a peer reviewer for the Whale Road Review and a nominee for the AWP Intro to Journals project. Find her on twitter: @poetrybyemma
This piece is part of Issue Two: CHRONOS. Read more like it here.